A hassidic story for Yom Kipur
I don't know why I remembered it now, but here is a Yom Kipur story that I heard a few years ago from a rabbi, and decided to post it on my blog.
During the 19th century in Russia, the army used to recruit 15 year olds,
have them serve for 25 years, then release them at 40. This was done by
force, and randomly. Every boy of fifteen years, Jewish, Christian or
Muslim, could be taken to the army. Most of them never came back.
Our story begins in July of 1875. An old man of forty years in an army
uniform was approaching a Jewish village in the west of Russia. He was sick
and his right leg was wooden. He barely spoke any Yiddish. Only few of the
elders of the village recognized him. Hershel. He was fifteen when they
last saw him.
Hershel inquired about his family, but he learned that he had no family
left. During the years that he had been gone, his father had died and his
mother had left the village. No one knew where to. So he rented a
little room and stayed in the village.
This was in July. In September, three weeks before Yom Kipur, the rabbi
called him. Hershel, the rabbi said, I want you to deliver the Neila
prayer this coming Yom Kipur. Hershel was taken aback. Me? The Neila
prayer? the most important prayer of the whole year? look Rabbi, said
Hershel, I barely know the text, and my voice has not been so nice
ever since I got that bullet in my chest. And besides, the Neila prayer is
to be delivered by a righteous man, by someone who had never sinned. And I
sinned Rabbi. Believe me Rabbi, I sinned way more than you can possibly
imagine.
The rabbi stayed silent for a second, and then replied. Hershel, he said,
you shall do it. And by the time you go up there, in front of the entire
community, and pray, you will understand why I chose you of all people.
The days went by, and the great day had arrived. And after 22 hours of
fasting, it was time for the Neila prayer. Hershel heavily made his way to
the stand, and started praying. Very slowly, forgetting some words,
mispronouncing others, and his voice. What a terrible voice. Absolutely
the worst Neila prayer ever. The audience sat uncomfortably in their
seats, waiting for the nightmare to end.
Two pages before the end of the prayer, Hershel paused and started
speaking to the crowd.
You must be wondering, Hershel said, why the rabbi chose me for the most
important prayer of the year. I wondered about it too. And now I finally
know the answer. I am leading you through Neila because my prayer is the
purest in this synagogue. My prayer is purer than the prayer of any of
you.
The audience was about to erupt. Not for the first time, Hershel was in a
serious danger of violent death. But very calmly he continued.
What do you pray for? he asked rhetorically. And immediately he answered:
You pray for atonement and forgiveness. Well you know, some of the thing
that I did on the battlefield ... there is no forgiveness for those. So I
don't even bother pray for forgiveness.
You pray for your children, that they will marry well, that they will have
good lives. I don't have children, and I will never have.
You pray for health and long life. I don't. My health is ruined beyond
repair, and if I die at this instant - well it doesn't matter much.
Whenever god wants to take me, I'll gladly go.
You pray that you can make your living, that you will make enough money to
live - I am a veteran soldier, I get a monthly stipend from the government
and have all the money that I need.
So you see, I don't ask god to do anything for me. I am just telling him
this: you see god, you are there and I am here, you created the universe
and I live in it and that's the way it is. And this is the purest possible
prayer.
And then Hershel continued to lead the service until the end of that Yom
Kipur. And this is also the end of the story.
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